A woman whose abusive father is being released from jail today has said she is "rattling from my head to my toes" at the thought of seeing him again.
Jill's* first memory of rape is from when she was eight, but she said the abuse started when she was about four. Her father - who she describes as her "childhood monster" - said if she told anyone, her younger brothers would be taken away.
Speaking to RedFM today, she said his release today means "I'm rattling from my head to my toes...I don't want to see him...He has put my family through horrible pain."
"I'm broken, and I'm going to (stay) broken."
Jill's father has served six and a half years of a 12-year sentence imposed in March 2012 and will undergo 18 months post-release supervision by the Probation Service. Jill believes her father hates her and bears her ill will.
"He had a great life and I took that away from him (by taking the case to court)," she said. "I just want him gone...He was not sorry at all (for what he did to me)."
She said there is a court order in place that the man is not allowed to have any contact with her and her family, but she said that the fact he is moving back into the northside suburb of Cork city where she still lives is putting her and her relatives under immense pressure.
Jill added she feared what her father might do to another child. "He's a dangerous individual...He's very charming and I'm fearful he's going to get into a relationship with someone with kids," she said.
She said people like her father should not be allowed out from jail. "He is not sorry," she said.
'I can't forgive and I can't forget'
Detailing the effects of the abuse on her, Jill said her memory and sleep patterns have been affected by stress. She gets about only three hours sleep a night. "I thought I had early-onset Alzeihmer's and I got myself checked out, but they said it was memory loss due to stress," she said.
Jill, who has a young daughter, added there is no prospect of moving from where she is living herself, in the short term. "It will take at least three years (to get a house elsewhere)," she said.
Councillor Ted Tynan said he was very well aware of the case, and had enormous respect and compassion for Jill. He called on Cork City Council to treat this case as a priority, and to expedite Jill's move away from where she and her family currently live, so that she did not run such a risk of encountering her father. He said the community would give Jill all possible support.
Asked what she would do if she saw her father, Jill said: "I'd like to think I'd run away (if I saw him), but I'm so angry I'm not sure what I would do."
"I'm broken, and I'm going to (stay) broken," she said, adding her only way out was for her father to die. "He is not sorry. I can't forgive and I can't forget," she said.
*Name changed to protect the victim’s identity
