1. The First Day
The NERVES! You had done your practice and hadn't slept a wink the night before. Normally Mam would have been dragging you out of bed for Mass at 9am, but not this morning. Oh no. You were up, had your best shoes polished and were ready for action. Now was your time to shine. You had very important tasks to do. From kneeling/ standing/ sitting at the right time, to ringing the bell at the exact moment, to bringing up the gifts when needed; this was your first big job! And you were utterly terrified.
2. What's my job again?
In most situations two altar servers were needed every Sunday morning. You had your rota and you were just wishing that you'd be scheduled on with one of your besties from 4th class. If so, ye'd have a chat before entering the Church and argue over which jobs ye wanted. It came down to either focusing on the gifts or the bell. Whatever you were into.
Sometimes you'd be on with someone with conflicting preference. Sometimes it worked.
But, you were always put out if you didn't get to be the bell ringer. It's a crucial job, you know...
3. Weddings
Now, this is where things got interesting. At school, you might be called out of the classroom as the local priest may have called to check the availability or two altar servers for an upcoming wedding.
The crucial part is these weddings may take place on a weekday and you know what this means... A FEW HOURS OFF SCHOOL!
Not only that, but you might even bag yourself a fiver, (in some cases a TENNER!), from the family. A good day all round. Chuffed.
4. Giddiness
God forbid you are on the altar with one of your besties, especially if ye are feeling giddy. We're all guilty of bursting into fits of laughter at the most INAPPROPRIATE times, but this was AWFUL. You'd be kneeling across from each other at a funeral and your friend would make a funny face.
THAT alone was enough to set you into hysterics. Your sides would be splitting and you'd be completely red in the face from the pressure of trying to hold it in.
God forbid the priest would catch you....
5. The fear
Following on from giddiness, the absolute FEAR when your Ma catches you giggling on the altar from the balcony.
That look that says "wait until you're home"...
6. Christmas Mass
This was the big one. Your time to shine. EVERYONE from school was going to be there. Maybe even the guy/girl you fancy. You need to be top of your game.
You've put effort into your hair and even made sure to wear your new shoes, in case they peak out under the robe.
7. You're superior now, you know
All the rest of those mass goers, QUEUING for communion.. Queuing? Oh no. Not for you darling. You are now first in line.
8. You have the perfect viewpoint to judge
You are in the perfect position to judge anyone who doesn't know the words or is half a second behind the rest of the congregation with the words/ doesn't kneel at the right time.
I know you're not a regular and yes, I am judging you.
9. When you're rostered on alongside your crush
This is exciting. You have a whole 40-45 minutes or staring at at each other across the altar to do.
You are genuinely excited about the upcoming intimate moment- the sign of peace
10. It's all over
Primary school is coming to an end and it's time for you to throw in the towel (or the robe, in this case).
The priest might give you €2 for the shop and the sacristan might even make a few buns for after mass. You did good, kid.
