Robert De Niro has become a dad again at 79 – meaning he could be 100 when his youngest child is just 21.
It’s easy to be disparaging about such late fatherhood – not only is there much more chance of the children of older fathers losing their dads when they’re still young, but some research has suggested health risks.
A major 2018 Stanford University study of more than 40 million births showed babies born to fathers of an “advanced paternal age” (deemed to be over 35) were at higher risk of adverse birth outcomes such as low birth weight.
Men over 45 were 14% more likely to have a child born prematurely, and those over 50 were 28% more likely to have a baby admitted to a neonatal intensive care unit, according to the research.
That said, new fathers – and mothers – have been getting older for many years. The Office for National Statistics (ONS) says the average age for new fathers is now 33.7 years – the highest since data collection for paternal age began in 1964.
Clearly, 33.7 years is less than half the age of De Niro – although he’s in good celebrity new older dad company. Rolling Stones singer Sir Mick Jagger had his eighth child in December 2016 at the age of 73, and fellow Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood was 68 when his twin daughters were born in 2016.
Former Channel 4 News presenter Jon Snow, now 75, and his wife had a baby boy via a surrogate in March 2021, and singer Sir Rod Stewart became a father of eight at the age of 66 with the birth of his son Aiden.
But are there benefits to being an older dad too?
Certainly there are, says former midwife Rachel FitzD, author of Your Baby Skin to Skin, and a parenting expert at The Baby Show (at Birmingham NEC, May 12-14).
“They have that extra time to spend with their children and give a different sort of energy that they can bring to babyhood,” she says. “It can be a really charming relationship between a young child and their much older father.”
Wellbeing coach Tony Pemberton’s dad Nick was 54 when he was born.
Pemberton, now 36, who helps people to make the right choices for their genes at his company Epic Genetics, says: “Old fathers tend to be wiser than younger ones, although this isn’t always the case! As a general rule our brain stops maturing at 25, but life skills of course go on way past this.”
His father designed and constructed props for films up to the age of 73. “I believe the active lifestyle, combined with never being overweight, has helped him to still be super sharp now at the age of 91,” he adds.
Here are some possible benefits of becoming a dad in later years.
1. They can be more gentle fathers
“Older men are just that little bit gentler in their nature. As men age their testosterone levels start to drop, so they become a bit more ‘oestrogenised’,” says FitzD.
“This means older men are often more emotionally in touch with their feminine side. They can be softer and much less likely to rile quickly – this is why older men make such fabulous grandads.”
2. They may be less career-focused
The older the father, the closer they are to retirement and the more likely they are to be less career driven, says FitzD.
Indeed, they may already have retired. “Another positive!” she says. “If the older father has got to the age where they’re scaling down their career or even retired, they can really enhance their child’s life, rather than just being driven by their careers and supporting them financially, getting home late and checking emails at all times of the day like many younger dads.
“They have more time and a little more slow energy to bring to their parenting role.”
3. Household chores may be more evenly split
If an older father is retired or scaling down his career, he may do more around the house – and although this is clearly beneficial in a partnership, it’s also a great example for his children.
“Because of this newly-acquired gentleness, they can take on some more of the household chores that [often] typically fall to women,” says FitzD. “They have more life experience and life skills that they can bring to their parenting role, and they can take on the role of house husband.”
4. They may have more hobbies to share with their kids
Being older means you’ve had more time to do things – and that includes hobbies.
“Often, along the way, dads have acquired lots of different hobbies as well – whether that be fishing, gardening, bee keeping. They can involve the children in all of those sorts of things,” FitzD says.
5. He could be a better partner
She says there may be positives for the relationship too. “Because [an older] father will often have some failed relationships behind them, they’ll often know what it takes to make a relationship work and they will, hopefully, learn from their mistakes.
“They can sometimes be a bit more supportive and understanding of the hard work that mums are putting into their parenting.”
6. They may cope better with sleepless nights than younger dads
As we mature we need less and less sleep and we’re more likely to wake early and in the middle of the night, which of course fits in very well with babies, FitzD points out.
“So, although the older dad may need to go to bed a little earlier, leaving [the other parent] to do the evening soothing, dad is more likely to be awake and caring for a baby in the middle of the night and can certainly get up at the crack of dawn for those early wakings.
“And of course, they might also not have to rush off to work and so can be around to give breakfast and look after the kids.”
Written By: Lisa Salmon, PA
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